Forward!

O Allah, who sufferest lice to live on the coat of a Kabuli, why hast thou allowed this louse Lutuf to live so long? --Rudyard Kipling, Kim

There is an almost Oriental, Byzantine feel to the perceived fumblings of the Bush Administration these days; as if watching the slow decay of a sultan or emir into madness. I wondered when the Bush Administration's unwillingness to admit error would catch up with them--if ever, inshallah, surely the time is now. I admit to having had nagging fears that Harriet Miers had simply been chosen to take the fall for Democratic aggression, leading to the substitution of a more qualified, more insidious conservative candidate in a Machiavellian plot that would wrap its tentacles around the next thirty years of American jurisprudence.

Like Ronald Reagan's fear of Soviet Russia, I seem to have attributed too much wily ingenuity to the Bush Administration. Even the Politburo could only stave off the fact that the planned state economy wasn't functioning for so long: and the hour may have struck for the Bush Administration's fund of political capital as well. Slate heralds the repackaging of the nominee in a crisp, businesslike cover, complete with writing sample. Record and qualifications are the order of the day... even if they don't want to release anything she's actually written for the White House. Criticize Miers? You're an elitist snob.

The problem with the Bush Administration's strategy here, in my humble opinion, is that while the elitist snob argument plays well to the crowd in Topeka, this pitch will be made to an entirely different audience. This appeal will be made to the Senate and the Senate judiciary committee, who are, almost by definition, elitist snobs.

So here's what I would do were I elevated beyond my pay grade. We want Democrats to be a party of ideas and we want to criticize Miers. How better than with a traditional weapon of minority parties: a shadow candidate. Find someone with impeccable credentials, a woman, a Republican, modestly conservative but one that Democrats would find acceptable--and then shill her as hard as you can before the Senate, the press, and the public. Bringing out the question of why she isn't being nominated allows Democrats to get away from the canard of sponsoring an elitist witch-hunt and wipes the Bush Administration in the eye (why couldn't your nomination team find her, eh?) while still knifing Miers quite neatly in the back.

Now, having solved the problems of the party and the nation, let us adjourn to the University Club for well-earned martinis. Ah, well. At least we can still play soccer.