Fundamentalism and placing seventh

1) I try to keep an open mind about many issues. On some subjects, however, I must admit failure. These include, as you may have noticed, a lack of tolerance for certain conservative yellow journalists, support for character assassination of Zac Posen, and eternal hatred for fundamentalists of all stripes.

This last is particularly ironic given my one fundamentalist belief: I believe wholeheartedly and without reservation in the supremacy of New England Clam or Cod Chowder, and an arrogant disdain for the infidel running dogs of those bastard devations from the True Faith known as Manhattan and Outer Banks Clear chowder. These devil broths are not fit for consumption by human beings, and all traces of their recipes should be preserved in museums only as a warning to others, alongside the ashes of the bawdy-house kitchens in which they were produced and consumed. Daily upon rising I face towards the Northeast, from whence flows the One True Soup, and chant my devotions:

• There is no chowder but chowder, and M.F.K. Fisher is its prophet.
• True chowder shall not contain tomatoes!
• True chowder shall not contain corn!
• Of the pig, only bacon may enrich the chowder! True chowder disdains ham!
  
• If you notice the celery therein, then is it not chowder, but Abomination.

I have spoken.

2) Shot in a defensive pistol match last Saturday: you will be pleased to know that I am not the worst shot in the Shenandoah valley. Results are here: I placed seventh out of ten in my class. Not bad for a first outing with a handgun I had never shot before, I flatter myself: I received a few complimentary comments. A brief video is here: I do not feature in it, but it'll give you some idea of what conditions were like. In brief: snowy and wet.

I ran the course with a GLOCK 26: a subcompact semiauto handgun. As a subcompact semiauto, it had a much shorter sight radius than I was used to, and I kept losing the front sight during strings requiring rapid fire, leading to inaccuracy and score penalties. Also, ensuring that the mag locks in the well requires some patience under pressure. Mostly, I just need more range time.

Conclusion: I love shooting sports. God, I do. There's nothing like putting rounds on target.