Jesus Loves Me....Oh Yes, He Does

In a bold of act of patriotism, Tom Delay has revealed that he actually does care about America by quitting his full-time job ruining it.

Tom Delay is retiring from the House of Representatives after 22 years. Delay has made a career out of spewing the most hateful, vile, partisan, disgusting rhetoric he could summon forth from the bowels of the lowest circles of Hell.

I will pray, seriously pray, that between the exits of Tom Delay, Duke Cunningham, Scooter Libby, and Andy Card (and soon Scott McClellan and John Snow, if rumors can be believed), that the last few years of Bush's presidency will be uneventful and, dare I say it, boring. All I want is for these monsters, who ruined the country I love, to squirm away from Washington, D.C. like Nosferatu from the daylight.