Vinkensport!

Proof that humanity can turn any activity into a sport, even sitting around waiting for a bird to sing. Vinkensport comes complete with a harsh training regime:

Filip Santens, a leading vinkenier, ... prepares his five-time champion
chaffinch for matches by pumping heavy-metal Guns N’ Roses music into his cage
and feeding him high-protein birdseed.

I wonder what Guns N' Roses song gets the finch blood flowing. Welcome to the Jungle? Did Mr. Santens experiment with other types of music before settling on Guns N' Roses? Does he ever swap out to, say, Aerosmith? Now all I can do is picture a tiny bird-jock finch bulking up his singing muscles with tiny dumbells, throwing back some high-protein birdseed, then going back to lifting while listening to hard rock, uttering tiny chirps of effort as the bird-sweat rolls down his beak. Later, he will go to a kegger and hit on college sophomores, then crash at his friend Troy's place.

I found the parallels between professional sports scandals and Vinkensport to be particularly interesting.

Allegations of doping still follow Schauvlieghe (SHOHV-lee-egg), a
legendary finch who flew away with the national championship a few years ago
after serenading onlookers with an unprecedented 1,278 susk-e-wiets.

Such Pavarotti-like endurance prompted accusations that his owner
had injected the bird with testosterone* (competing finches are always males;
they sing to attract females and to mark their territory). The allegations were
never proved, and Schauvlieghe, who has since died, retained his title.

From a corner, Floyd Landis looks on, and sheds a single tear.

* A few more questions: how do you go about injecting a bird with testosterone? I have a feeling that if I tried, I'd just end up with a finch-kebab. Also, this just completes the finch-as-early-90s-weightlifter picture. Did Schauvlieghe have back-acne, an abnormally high singing voice, and freaking huge finch muscles? Is it possible to train your finch to contribute a urine sample as well as sing like a maniac? The possibilities are endless.